Timid Men (Who Misrepresent Themselves)

The ad read:

Mission Impossible - m4w (Helena)

height : 6'2" (187cm)
status : single

age: 57

57 Montana professional / classical music fan seeks 40+ woman for travel, hiking and romantic companion. Described by friends as "Intelligent. Creative. Ruggedly handsome." Please have passport and desire to see and share Europe.

 

A more truthful ad would have read:

"Arm candy with a current passport and half a brain wanted for travel adventures.  If strangers frequently mistake you for a model, the brain requirement may be waived.  All expenses paid on a per hour or per trip basis, per a mutually agreed upon contract."


Don't pretend to be a naive man, unaware of the treachery and fakery of the web.  You have not been hiding out like a fugitive in a cave for the last 20 years.  Your feigned shock and awe upon reading the XXX responses along with the offers for paid services and requests for your credit card number is not accepted.  Even self described "nice guys" troll the web for porn, photos of naked, surgically enhanced boobs and whatever other twisted kinky shit they may be into.

The timid men, afraid to dip a toe in the unfamiliar online dating pool, "mommy the water is too cold!" have no place online.  The world is a dangerous place and the web is a hungry alligator, lying in wait to snatch you in one foot of water at a Disney resort. 

If you live frozen with paranoia, your life becomes a mundane, dismal existence, void of all love, adventure and the unexpected joyful surprises that come with taking the occasional risk.

Go ahead, climb the ladder to the diving board and plunge into the deep end of the pool.  As long as you know how to swim, it will all work out okay.

Footnote: contrary to modern folklore, age is not "just a number" except for men past a certain age who are freaking out about getting older.  For women, it is the most important factor by which they are judged and scrutinized.

"Nursed Me" (All Night Long)

The Adventure Begins

I have never been a waitress, never held a position in the hospitality industry, unless you count a semester of misery at McDonald's during my short stint at Moscow, Idaho in the fall of 1977. But here I am, all signed up to be an UBER driver, launching exactly a week from today in my Montana town.

The intake crowd hanging at the airstream trailer in the Wal-Mart parking lot were hipper than hip, not locals, I correctly surmised, but here from Seattle.  I was an eager inquisitor, asking all the right questions.  Contract worker? Where's the contract?  Oh, you already signed that under the terms and conditions!  OH, OF COURSE I DID, haha.  And the tutorial on the app?  Of course I want the demo with the cutie named Alex.  And the 20% cut UBER takes? Oh, correction my dear, it's actually 25%!  But no matter, I'm as enthused as I can be, my own boss, my crisp, barely used 2014 Civic is newly vacuumed and ready for launch day.  

Yes, Alex reported, I am all set, license, registration, proof of insurance, and good news "you passed the background check!"  Things were pretty slow when I showed up, but alas, I was assured that earlier, at the 10:00 start time, they were quite busy.  Exactly why I waited until later, of course.  

We shall see.  My first few trips will be nerve wracking I'm sure, but I will power on and forge my way into the field of paid public service.  My expectations are tempered, as real life has a way of dominating any get rich quick scheme.  I will give it an honest effort, see if the payoff is worth the extra miles, the wear and tear on my little Civic, and the drunken bar patrons needing a ride home at 2:00 AM.  Dear God, let no one puke in my little car!

An Evening With Friends

Broadway tunes are not my thing, rather something to suffer through, but spending an evening with friends, eating yummy food, drinking well executed beverages, was well worth the auditory assault.  The fireworks were fabulous, if short lived.  I took full advantage, snapping away the whole 5 minutes.  We sat too close to the well marked walkways, and therefore suffered a steady procession of restless attendees who apparently shared my lack of love for Broadway tunes.  However, the many members of the card carrying short-attention-span generation at least provided some lively entertainment as they wandered past.  While not a Broadway aficionado, I at least had the manners to be still for the duration of the musical segments.  For this local popular event, my whole point was to hang out with good friends and share the goings on of our lives, an all too uncommon activity these days.  A successful evening by any account.

Always Yellowstone

The park was in full bloom and the tourists were not too thick, although there were plenty. Decided to tour the Terraces in Mammoth, my old home for a year back in the day.  I had not taken the board walk tour since dragging the kids there a long time ago. I chuckled when I heard a mother ask, "it looks like we're on Mars, doesn't it?" and her son's dour response was "it looks like we're walking up lots of steps" (true).  I regularly coerced my three kids into visiting the park.  Although they would now agree those treks were a good thing, at the time, they often lacked a jubilant enthusiasm.

It is quite something recalling the look of the Terraces back in 1978 compared to now.  They look entirely different with all the constant fluctuation of the thermal activity.  Living in Yellowstone Park was a blessing which I fully appreciated at the time, knowing it was a once in a life time experience and Yellowstone has been a favorite place ever since. 

I decided to take the short walk to Tower Falls this time. I did not recall ever actually seeing it before, however I did have a vague recollection that the trail used to go to the base of the falls, confirmed by a closed trail sign with a note mentioning 1985.  The trail now goes down to the river, but you cannot see the falls from the river trail.

Going home, in any sense, is always trippy, whether it is back to your childhood hometown, or to a place when your life had a totally different complexion.  While not always disconcerting, I've found it comes with a sense of loss attached.  Though most of the lost things were better left along the trail of your life, it still evokes a feeling of detachment to something you once had attachment to.
 

So Much Beauty...So Much Pain

Our world is like a gaping wound of exposed nerve endings.  Our world is bursting all around with robust beauty and wonderment.  Those parallel tracks run through every second of each day.  Excruciating pain, injustice and unthinkable violence coupled with the deep overwhelming love for those we cherish in our home and professional lives and the joyful microseconds they bring to us each day.

More shootings in the news today, a murder suicide at UCLA, two San Francisco cops shot in a traffic stop gone bad.  And more, so many more.  You could not keep count if you wanted to; no one wants to.  And these include only stateside events.  Looking beyond our coddled American borders, the countless stories increase in horrific magnitude. 

If I didn't know better, I'd say we are all sleepwalking through some sick, tragic comedy.  There is no other explanation for the how and why of Donald Trump.  A bloviating egomaniac poised as a potential next president of the United States is beyond absurd.  But why? What feeds the mentality of a public supporting such a crass, insane megalomaniac?  There is a disconnect from reality for so many voters.  How can a man who would squash all the dreams of the poor and disadvantaged, of minorities and the paycheck to paycheck crowd, fulfill some ill conceived fantasy that he can lead a nation?  He has led several companies and a "university" of ill repute into the ground.  Why would anyone with half a brain trust him to rise above the role of a control freak boss, pointing his finger and declaring "you're fired!" on network TV?

These truly are the dark ages.  In so many ways.  I think in 100 years, history will not be kind to this era of the early 21st Century.  Assuming civilization survives the next 100 years.  I think at this point, there is serious doubt about the future of Planet Earth. 

Arches

Quick marathon one day trip to Arches National Park.  Amazing landscapes, spectacular views, a natural wonderland.

Death Valley & Joshua Tree