ART.....sort of

Well, I finally let inspiration take hold and bought a couple of canvases, an assortment of brushes and some sampler size acrylics. (Boy are they expensive in the industrial size!) I have always wanted to paint but the only thing I've ever done with acrylics is put quirky shit on my jeans when I was a teenager. So now the big test. I took art in high school, and pottery in high school and college and the most memorable items I created were a pencil drawing of my shoe, not bad, and a batik with a geometric design that I actually wish I still had. As for the pottery, I threw a pitcher that my ceramics teacher said looked like the one in the Kool-Aid ads, but I did use it for years to cook Boston Baked Beans in. The longest I've ever worked on a project was on a massive macrame wall hanging I started in Durham NH when I was in college, using a beaver-chewed piece of musclewood that was at the house I lived at, brought it out to Idaho for the semester at UI, then to Bozeman for a few months, then to Yellowstone Park for year, then on to Missoula where I finally finished it about three years later. Thing is, it's the coolest wall hanging and I really love the way it turned out, so it was worth the wait, even though it sat for months at a time while I decided how to do the next part. I always drew as a kid, horses mostly as I was obsessed with horses. I still harbor a far off dream that I'll fall in love with a Montana rancher who has a bunch of horses and I'll quit my day job and just work on the ranch, mucking out the stalls and riding every day. But I digress...so it's always safe to just assume that the first few (dozen) items you produce will be pure crap, just accept it and keep on plodding along. The questions I keep coming back to: do I have the vision and patience to actually work on a project for the time required to make it halfway interesting to look at? I do feel like I've observed all kinds of art mistakes, things that people decide to paint/draw etc. that are just plain boring. I'd rather have bizarre stuff than mundane. Another note, I'm doing this to be a creative, relaxing activity, correct? So if I get stressed out because I don't have the skill to make anything that looks better than a 6th grader's work, do I have the faith to keep trying in the belief that I actually will improve if I practice? As an ADD person, I jump from project to project and get bored quickly, but can concentrate for hours if it's something that captures my interest. I guess the answer is to set out goals as to what I actually want to accomplish if I perservere for the long haul. It could be as simple as having fun mixing the pretty colors or as complex as really planning a project step by step and carrying it to fruition. So, here's where I am so far: the first canvas I got all excited about and whipped up a semi-abstract which turned into poppies amidst a weird abstract. Some aspects came out satisfying, it has layers which give it depth, and the poppies look good, but some of the background almost looks like the doodles I draw when I'm talking on the phone. I've been resisting the urge to do a complete makeover on it, I want it to just be done and keep it as is and learn from it. The colors are nice and it does have some sort of appeal, although not a very strong one, and I haven't seen anything like it elsewhere. So the next question is, are paintings the kind of projects where you always like some aspects and dislike others, so that you're never completely pleased with a result? That could be depressing. So I'm working on the 2nd canvas, also with flowers but I can already see problems, although the color and brushstrokes of the focal rose look fine. I should probably let it set for a couple of days before I get back to it. So, here's hoping I don't get easily discouraged and shit-can the whole idea.....stay tuned.