So You Want a Younger Woman

Men my age are on a mission to find the perfect woman half their age.  They are stymied as to why the young 20 and 30-somethings aren't stampeding each other to get in line.  Experience, a touch of grey at the temples, the all-knowing father figure with a nice fat 401K must have a magnetic draw they think.  "Why aren't the beautiful young, naive creatures I see everywhere trampling down my door?"

If they are mothers, they are busy going crazy with kids' schedules, working two jobs to make ends meet, confronting the ex over visitation rights.  She would like nothing better than to get all gussied up and head to that four star restaurant so you can wine and dine her, showering her with "you're so beautiful" compliments as you chomp savagely at the bit hoping she'll let you get to second or third base.  But she has an early morning getting the kids off to school before she heads to the office and a million things on her mind as you tell her that great stand-by story about your last fishing trip.

She may be a catch, but she comes with her own school of fish, your future step kids, who will not adore you, (nor you them) to say the least.

To the childless and mid-thirties, grinding their way through the daily panic attack that is "why am I not off making babies with my perfect guy yet?" you look like somebody's grandpa.  You do not remotely strike her as future husband/daddy material.  You look like a guy who has grown children who still suck the life and cash out of him.  A guy with a bit of a gut, slightly balding, who's a big fan of classic rock, popular before she was born.  A good looking, career oriented single guy around her age garners all the effort and attention.  It's musical chairs as all her friends are getting married and popping out babies and she's freaking out she'll be the last woman standing.  And if you're lucky enough to snag her, that long sought after baby, young enough to be your grandchild, will gobble up all of her time, attention and energy, not to mention way more tittie-time than you'll be getting!  You'll be neglected and lucky enough to wake up to 4:00 a.m. feedings and expected to change diapers.  This is not the 1960's.  Can I hear an "I'm too old for this shit"? 

When she's 50, you'll be in bed by 8:00 and way past your sexual prime, while she's still in the throes of hers.  A little touch of ED soars off the charts on a woman's frustration meter and she has discovered an awful lot of 30-40 year olds have a thing for older women and are bold enough to make the first move.  It's the path of least resistance to not rebuff their advances, and so, she allows herself the indulgence.  After all, you basked for years in the radiance of her trophy wife glow, now it's her turn.

So be careful what you wish for when it comes to the sweet young things you yearn for so desperately.  The fantasy you're chasing is just that, a pipe dream.