Timid Men (Who Misrepresent Themselves)

The ad read:

Mission Impossible - m4w (Helena)

height : 6'2" (187cm)
status : single

age: 57

57 Montana professional / classical music fan seeks 40+ woman for travel, hiking and romantic companion. Described by friends as "Intelligent. Creative. Ruggedly handsome." Please have passport and desire to see and share Europe.

 

A more truthful ad would have read:

"Arm candy with a current passport and half a brain wanted for travel adventures.  If strangers frequently mistake you for a model, the brain requirement may be waived.  All expenses paid on a per hour or per trip basis, per a mutually agreed upon contract."


Don't pretend to be a naive man, unaware of the treachery and fakery of the web.  You have not been hiding out like a fugitive in a cave for the last 20 years.  Your feigned shock and awe upon reading the XXX responses along with the offers for paid services and requests for your credit card number is not accepted.  Even self described "nice guys" troll the web for porn, photos of naked, surgically enhanced boobs and whatever other twisted kinky shit they may be into.

The timid men, afraid to dip a toe in the unfamiliar online dating pool, "mommy the water is too cold!" have no place online.  The world is a dangerous place and the web is a hungry alligator, lying in wait to snatch you in one foot of water at a Disney resort. 

If you live frozen with paranoia, your life becomes a mundane, dismal existence, void of all love, adventure and the unexpected joyful surprises that come with taking the occasional risk.

Go ahead, climb the ladder to the diving board and plunge into the deep end of the pool.  As long as you know how to swim, it will all work out okay.

Footnote: contrary to modern folklore, age is not "just a number" except for men past a certain age who are freaking out about getting older.  For women, it is the most important factor by which they are judged and scrutinized.