Running Around Montana & Wyoming

Butte Folk Festival 2015

The music was great, the rain poured down, and the crowds danced with abandon.  A great event with its shit together.  The lack of hot weather and added challenge of not getting soaked in the rain enhanced the fun experience.  It helped that we'd all dragged our rain jackets along. 

Good friends and the epitome of crowd watching rounded out the day.  This three sided chalk board is something new.  Quite intriguing to see what folks decide to put down to represent themselves.  And the discovery of the Front Street Market import store, hiding out in plain sight in downtown Butte, loaded to the brim with items you would never imagine (pickled patty pan squash anyone?) was a real gem to discover.  

Seeley Lake June - Maiden Kayak Voyage

It was a gorgeous day for my first outing and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I had forgotten just how much I love the water. 

Fairview Hike June 2015

This 9 mile hike is perhaps the longest hike I've done in one day. The area is north of Helena, with a group doing a "key exchange," half the group starts at each end and drives the other half's vehicles, then returns the owner's key at the half-way lunch stop.  A lively group of speedsters, moderates, and slow poke photographers, the group was spread apart over several miles.  A perfect cooler, slightly overcast day presented perfect hiking conditions.  A narrow rocky cliff trail challenged those of us with slight height issues.  I never did look at the no doubt spectacular view, but rather kept my eyes on my next step ahead of me.  Steady breathing kept me at an even keel.  One false move would induce an unhappy ending for the unlucky hiker.  I did not want to fill that role, and safely made it to the end of the offending trail. Several pooh-poohed those of us who stated a more dicey stretch would certainly have proved problematic.

Bizarre shit  happens, and it is wise to take these circumstances seriously.  Look at those three young bible hikers who launched over the falls at Yosemite a few years back.  Just wading out for a photo op in shallow waters at the edge led to their untimely demise, one after another trying to save each other.  Not the smartest folks, they breached the "do not pass barricade" signs and climbed over the guardrail.  The many onlookers witnessed a disturbing event, their young kids in tow, as they saw the scared eyes of the three realize they were about to meet their end.  

More

How do you interact with someone who sports a razor thin comfort zone? Respecting the boundaries presents challenges I had not encountered prior to this individual.  Discovering how very flexible I am myself also came as a surprise.  

Very rigid types need the fluidity of a go with the flow, turn on a dime companion.  Due to their narrow, narrow focus though, these traits will not only go unappreciated, but totally unrecognized.  This, the flexer must accept, over and over again, like ground hog day.  The restrictive bonds feel tight to wear, the urge to breathe deep and rip the seams strong.  Let's just _____, fill in the blank, keeps popping in my brain.  Accepting the ironclad rules someone you care for deeply places on their being, a lifelong sentence burdening each moment of each day is pain by association.  Nothing I can say or do will ever make a dust speck of a difference.  A hard pill to swallow.

Memorial Day Weekend

Water is very healing and this lake is one of  my favorite Montana places.  The steady rhythm of the waves colliding with the shore induce a calming mood.  

Buzzing around the lake, touristing the small artsy main street shops and sampling the local microbrews doesn't hurt either.  

People watching as a full time sport includes the spectacle of thundering Harleys roaring down the quaint town center, projecting a "you may not care for us, but you will not ignore us" vibe.  The leathered up ladies wearing their "don't fuck with me" scowls, perched up on their elevated thrones behind their men, each sporting an enlarged, jiggling middle section.  I'm not sure the image in their heads matches the impressions of the onlookers.  

Montana winters are long, and spring is a slow motion dance of fits and starts before summer finally arrives.  By then you are faced with cramming the most you can into 10 or so weekends of travel, outdoor activities and the local music festivals.  Packing the summer schedule is an art most Montanans hone out of necessity.  Those of us who are transplants also learn the skill.  Lest you approach the short, autumn days with a downtrodden, sinking feeling that you missed your chance and now face the long, dark winter before the sunshine warms your skin again.

San Francisco 2015

Life is full of adventures.  I like mine full tilt.  Taking risks is a scary proposition, but not taking them is death by apathy.  My whirlwind long weekend to San Francisco was full of surprise encounters, great food and drink, sights, sounds, smells and three days of companionship with the most unique and interesting person I've ever had the fortune to spend time with.  I am forever thankful for these memories emblazoned on my soul.

Artistic Expression - The Lines Are Not So Blurred

Got to Give it Up vs. Blurred Lines

This has nothing to do with evoking a feeling or emotion.  Listen to both songs.  I'm glad the case recognized you cannot simply overlay a new vocal track with different words and call it a different song.  The backing track, complete with hoots and hollers and "cow bell" is very nearly identical.  For Farrell and Thicke to claim they were only inspired or paying tribute to Gaye is a crock.  Rather than put a crimp in creativity, hopefully this case will compel artists to come up with their own ideas, instead of lazily copying the masters in their field.  Imitation may be the purist form of flattery, but plagiarism is just stealing someone else's art and calling it your own.

Friday the 13th Pizza & Beer

 Defrosting the frosty glasses post party, a friendly affair featuring homemade pizza and pineapple upside down cake topped with vanilla ice cream, a sit down dinner for eight.  My dinner party was a ploy to deplete my generous supply of Montana IPA's leftover from my New Year's Eve bash, but my plan was thwarted.  Red and white wine walked in the door with my guests, and a six pack of bottled Dos Equis, half consumed by the guest who brought it, only added the three remaining bottles to my stockpile in the fridge.  

It had been only five plus years since I'd been toying with the idea of throwing a dinner party. The living room newly painted my "pea soup," and the art changed up and rearranged, the space is quite inviting.  Just a few hours prior to the party, the guest list included a total of five of us, then a last minute call upped the ante to eight, and I scrambled to garner a few more supplies, another jar of red sauce, an extra bottle of red wine, to up the pizza count to three, two veggie, one meat, to be sure the crowd was not left wanting.
As it is, they munched the chocolate covered almonds and pretzel sticks as we played our "complete the saying" game, and finished off the wine.  The beer took a slight hit, but alas, I still have 25 bottles chilled in the fridge.  Very fine varieties all, I suppose I may have to now hold a "BEER" party if I hope to make a dent in the cashe.

Childhood

Mourn the childhood you didn't have, accept the one you did.  Revisiting the past over and over in your head serves no good purpose.  As if reliving the hurt, isolation and loneliness will somehow create your happy ending.  But you stand at the end point, your life as it is at this moment.  Point A, your childhood, led to Point B, you, an adult, now.  Refuse to succumb to the burdens of your history.  Learn, love, live.

The only way to right the wrongs you suffered is to live your life according to the path you wish you'd traveled in your youth.  Be kind to the children who cross your path, listen to them, acknowledge them.  Be thoughtful to all you encounter, as we are all just grown children, products of our past experiences.  You must strive to be like the dandelion growing out of the crack in a rock on the hillside.  Reach skyward, towards the light of the sun.  Don't focus on the rock, leap into the present.  You are your own teacher, parent, guardian.  Raise yourself to be the person you've always been at your core.  Your best self.

You have arrived, you survived; lived to fight another day, but fight the good fight.  Don't clutter up the battlefield with what ifs and whys, end the needless battles with yourself.  Refuse to let the abusive teachers, unloving parents, mean bullies at school, or random strangers determine who you are now.

You are in control of your perception of the past.  No one else.  Spin that motherfucker into the self-guided tour that led you to this moment.  Rejoice in your blessings.  There are many and they multiply once you start acknowledging them.  Come out of the darkness into the daylight.

Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck

     Born to an average American couple, Kurt Cobain was a unicorn, his clueless parents sadly ill-equipped to love and nurture him.  Passed around to various relatives like a piece of luggage, it's no wonder a deep rooted, emotional pain seared his soul.  As I watched the history of his life unfold on film, my thoughts commanded: "No one should be allowed to treat a child that way."

     Kurt's artistic talent and sensitivities were a mystery to those around him.  His upbringing akin to torture, by the time he mastered his dual passions of writing and music, he was so far off the rails emotionally there would be no righting the ship.  Had Cobain been born into a family of higher mind - recognizing and nourishing his gifts - his story would have realized a very different and much later ending.  As the saying goes: "if a child has one person in his world who loves him and gives a sincere shit about him, he will survive."  The absence of this person in Kurt's life paved the way for his isolation, drug addiction and mental illness and inevitable death by his own hand.

     We live in a barbaric world.  Striving to love and take care of each other every day is the hallmark of a civilized society.  If you don't attend to and care about each other, the rest doesn't mean much.  At the age of 14, Kurt laid down on railroad tracks in his hometown of Aberdeen, WA, with concrete blocks on his appendages attempting to end his life.  However, he picked the wrong tracks and the expected train stormed past on parallel tracks.

     His whole life Kurt hurtled toward a cliff of self destruction.  And yet, director Brett Morgen still managed a rant during the Q and A after the second public screening, blaming Courtney Love for his suicide.  Certainly a flash mob of guilty parties all through his life cumulatively contributed to his demise.  In the end, he chose to end his pain by his own hand.  We are each other's keepers, and love holds amazing curative powers, but each of us has to find the strength, within ourselves and the universe, to carry on.

Dispatch from Sundance

Director James Ponsoldt, along with others including Jason 

Segel, answer questions after a screening of The End of the Tour. 

Jesse Eisenberg, who plays Lipsky to great effect in the film, did 

not attend the Q and A.  

The End of the Tour

     One of the standout titles from Sundance '15, the film is based on David Lipsky's book Although of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself, about his four days spent with the author David Foster Wallace while preparing for a Rolling Stone story.  

     The story was never published but Lipsky instead wrote the book about his time spent with Foster Wallace, a bit of a recluse, who was hailed as the writer of his generation.  Battling depression his whole life, the glare of attention he received from his highly acclaimed 1,000 page novel Infinite Jest exacerbated his difficulty coping with his notoriety.  Seemingly, he both craved and abhorred the attention his talent attracted.  At 46, he committed suicide by hanging himself at home. 

Sleeping With Other People 

Director/Writer: Leslye Headland  Starring: Jason Sudeikis as Jake and Alison Brie as Lainey

Two virgins meet up in college, both late bloomers, they proceed to relieve each other of their burdensome V cards.  A one time connection, they go their separate ways, but a permanent bond has been cemented.  Fast forward 10 years and they have another chance encounter at a sex addicts anonymous meeting.  Apparently late bloomers run the risk towards sex obsession.  Perhaps the long delayed gratification breaks through the floodgates creating a deluge of desire.  
A truly refreshing window inside the way we really view sex and cheating and fidelity.  When Jake gives Lainey a lesson on how to pleasure herself, using an empty green tea bottle as his visual aid, it's hilarious, if a bit off the mark.  Viewing Jason Sudeikis as a "player" at first seems a stretch, we view him as a funny man, but why not?  He is certainly pleasant to look at and charming, he rises to the occasion.   
Few things elevate or torpedo a film more than the script, saving an otherwise lackluster film or sinking one with promise.  This inspired smart and smarmy script begs the question, why aren't there more films like this?  

Genius Syndrome

I have often contemplated, if given the opportunity, would I trade my well adjusted and highly functional, enjoyable life of average intelligence for the singular brilliance of a tortured, tormented artist, creating amazing works, but suffering the mandatory psychosis.
 
Every genius seems incapable of forming normal human connections, dive bombing any meaningful relationships and failing at those simple interactions taken for granted by the rest of us.  The inherent struggle to attain stability amidst the enveloping waves of alienation, surely produces a chronic psychic pain.

Does the guilt of the profound gift, bestowed upon the supersensitive, create such a crushing burden that the steady path descending into self destruction is the only visible escape route? 

Or do those sweet, perfect pinnacles of euphoria, saturating your very core upon profound artistic achievement, mollify the pain and lonely isolation of a world without peers?

2015

The calendar clicks from one year to the next.  You stand at a point in time, take stock of the events of the past year and then peer forward into the year ahead. And it seems the midway point of a decade poses a special significance, producing a hyper-awareness of the swift passage of time.  

I am not one for resolutions; those wishful thinking, pie in the sky, momentary fantasies people pin false hope on.  But I am not a pessimist.  Rather, I set out goals, both realistic and attainable, then I formulate a reasonable path leading to my destination.  This tried and true pragmatism serves me well and avoids the pitfall of setting myself up to fail.  

Call me crazy, but I think each person carries a duty to follow their passions.  Striving to be the best version of yourself builds self esteem and inner strength.  Keep your eye on the ball, consciously make choices that realize your vision and steer clear of destructive forces that lead into the abyss.  

Do not ever give yourself second billing in your own life.  Seek what fulfills you, muster the strength and desire to work for it, and live your life always posing the question: will I regret it if I do/don't do "this" and let the answer guide you.  The simplest answer is usually the right answer.

So You Want a Younger Woman

Men my age are on a mission to find the perfect woman half their age.  They are stymied as to why the young 20 and 30-somethings aren't stampeding each other to get in line.  Experience, a touch of grey at the temples, the all-knowing father figure with a nice fat 401K must have a magnetic draw they think.  "Why aren't the beautiful young, naive creatures I see everywhere trampling down my door?"

If they are mothers, they are busy going crazy with kids' schedules, working two jobs to make ends meet, confronting the ex over visitation rights.  She would like nothing better than to get all gussied up and head to that four star restaurant so you can wine and dine her, showering her with "you're so beautiful" compliments as you chomp savagely at the bit hoping she'll let you get to second or third base.  But she has an early morning getting the kids off to school before she heads to the office and a million things on her mind as you tell her that great stand-by story about your last fishing trip.

She may be a catch, but she comes with her own school of fish, your future step kids, who will not adore you, (nor you them) to say the least.

To the childless and mid-thirties, grinding their way through the daily panic attack that is "why am I not off making babies with my perfect guy yet?" you look like somebody's grandpa.  You do not remotely strike her as future husband/daddy material.  You look like a guy who has grown children who still suck the life and cash out of him.  A guy with a bit of a gut, slightly balding, who's a big fan of classic rock, popular before she was born.  A good looking, career oriented single guy around her age garners all the effort and attention.  It's musical chairs as all her friends are getting married and popping out babies and she's freaking out she'll be the last woman standing.  And if you're lucky enough to snag her, that long sought after baby, young enough to be your grandchild, will gobble up all of her time, attention and energy, not to mention way more tittie-time than you'll be getting!  You'll be neglected and lucky enough to wake up to 4:00 a.m. feedings and expected to change diapers.  This is not the 1960's.  Can I hear an "I'm too old for this shit"? 

When she's 50, you'll be in bed by 8:00 and way past your sexual prime, while she's still in the throes of hers.  A little touch of ED soars off the charts on a woman's frustration meter and she has discovered an awful lot of 30-40 year olds have a thing for older women and are bold enough to make the first move.  It's the path of least resistance to not rebuff their advances, and so, she allows herself the indulgence.  After all, you basked for years in the radiance of her trophy wife glow, now it's her turn.

So be careful what you wish for when it comes to the sweet young things you yearn for so desperately.  The fantasy you're chasing is just that, a pipe dream.