Fire Season

A new fire north of town and a sunset red from all the smoke.

I Know I Live in a Dry Climate

And that there are plenty of prickly pear cactus in the hills around town, but I was still suprised to see this little volunteer growing in one of my garden beds.

Those 40-Somethings With Big Ideas

Okay, I've been mulling on this for quite a while now. As I navigate the Internet sites I come upon an abundance of 40 something men, never married, no kids, who now think they're ready to settle down. Of course it has to be a much younger woman as any 40 something woman who's just now figuring she's ready for kids is screwed. They brag that they have no baggage, no alimony payments, no pesky kids to take their attention away from that perfect woman they're finally ready to settle down with. Is this clueless or what?? They also want the woman to have "waited" for them, a fresh clean slate they can scribble all over. What they don't get is that most women who want kids, just find a decent guy and take the plunge and do it. These guys who've never seen fit to take a chance on love have a big red flag pasted to their foreheads. Never found a girl worthy of your giant ego? Never let yourself be vulnerable enough to take that leap of faith and commit to one of the many women you've surely loved or at least half-assed loved? Everyone wants a level playing field in love: you've got an ex? I've got an ex - as long as neither of us is still sleeping with ours, we'll deal with it. You've got kids who you'd give your right arm for? Hey, guess what me too. You think you're perfect with your lack of baggage? Well think again, we've all got baggage. You don't need an ex or kids to have the requisite baggage. Believe me if you're over 40 and you haven't been living in a cave for the last 20 years, you've got baggage. So while you've deluded yourself into thinking you're the ultimate catch, I think any woman worth her salt wants to know the guy's been out there living all these years before she met him, he's loved and lost and grown up and taken stock of his life. He's got a realistic view of himself and the world and knows relationships are hard work and pure hell at times. They say women are all waiting for their Prince Charming, but I really think it's these 40 somethings who are waiting for their fantasy woman to appear. Strange how men and women have changed roles in so many ways over the last 20-30 years. Strange and SCARY!

More From the Yard

Playing Around With Acrylics

Trying Out the New Camera

ER 4 hours of Unfun

Almost all better.

A happier day

After almost four hours in the ER we never did see a doctor, but the PA who sewed him up seemed to know his stuff and was pretty entertaining. Luckily no tendon damage and so far no infection.

Just Have to Comment on This One

I've had pretty good luck with Craig's List, since the dating pool of single men here in Helena is pretty shallow and not very interesting. A concert in Missoula, Wailers, very good, a fun outing on the 4th on the lake. So I check it regularly for folks coming to Helena wanting a local guide, dinner date, etc. The latest, a very attractive 60 yr old, apparently a Brit coming through Montana and visiting the parks. I drop a line saying hey, I'm in Helena and depending on the days and local sights you want to check out, maybe we can work something out. So I give him my myspace link, it's always good to let them know what they're in for, and the note I get back simply says "If you have air conditioning, I'm planning to propose." Well, it's probably a joke, but he neither said which days he's here, what he'd like to do, or whether or not he is in fact a Brit. So, how do you respond to such a ridiculous statement. Ha Ha, very funny?? So I've deleted his message as apparently he wasn't really serious about actually meeting up. Too bad, he was a looker.

Wimbledon - the Expressions Say it All

On Turning 50

As the last two days of 49 slip away, I’m surprised by how unfazed I am by the prospect of turning 50. Seems 30 and 40 were more disconcerting than I feel today. There are a lot of factors figuring into the mindset, not the least of which are my three awesome grown kids, even if I can take only a portion of the credit there. Recently when on a flight back to Helena I was seated next to a young Canadian woman who expressed her fear of flying. She pounded her arm rests when we experienced turbulence and stated she was hoping to avoid a panic attack. I joked that if she started screaming, I’d have to put my hand over her mouth. I don’t think she thought it was an amusing comment, though I was trying to lighten the mood. I expressed to her I’d been more fearful of flying several years ago but had gradually become more comfortable and recommended deep breathing and prayer. I’d always assumed I just grew up a little and took a more practical look at the risks of flying, but afterwards I reflected that part of her, and my fears may be seated in the status of young mother. She has two very young children back in Canada that she was traveling back to that day and I believe part of my fear when I flew was that if I did die in a crash my kids would be devastated as I was their only caretaker and was concerned for what would happen to them. I think these days knowing they’re all adults and could very well take care of themselves helps. While I imagine they’d be very upset, they would recover while at a very young age the damage would be much more severe.

Another reason for my lack of fear of 50 is the fitness level I feel I’m at compared to a ton of folks my age. Beginning running 17 years ago was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. The confidence and well being derived from exercising regularly can not be over stated. I would highly recommend anyone who doesn’t regularly exercise to incorporate it into their weekly routine. The stress relief and feeling of accomplishment alone are worth the effort.

While remaining single for many, many years and the long stretch of singledom could be cause for alarm, I just don’t feel I’m missing that much. All the activities I now enjoy would likely be diminished by the compromises inherent in any relationship. My current positive state of mind may in fact be partly derived from the lack of a relationship with a man, since correct or not, my history with men seems to reveal that they can diminish self esteem by the subtle ways they judge and criticize and look down upon women. Intentional or not, the message can reflect their feeling that men are in charge, smarter, “the boss”, etc. Living my life not having to answer to anyone or justifying my actions and generally doing as I please gives me a feeling of independence and well being. While this may lead me to a bit of an arrogant attitude of “I know best”, the fact is, for me, I do know what’s best. Plus, I was never the wifey type anyway.

So while I’m not wishing for another 50, unless by some miracle I can escape the usually frailties accompanying old age, the next 10-20 and beyond should be very good indeed. I do appreciate life, I do realize how lucky and blessed I’ve been.

Bonnaroo 2007

No rain this time just dust, heat, 80,000 wander-ing souls and a ton of excellent music. The Police ruled, doing a run down of all the favorites, followed by the Flaming Lips who put on a wondrous show of laser beams, man in a bubble entrance, balloons, confetti, lights on a spaceship-like saucer and just a crowd pleasing show. All the chickies were fabulous, Regina Spektor, Feist, Lily Allen, Martha Wainwright (the little that we heard). Other highlights included Kings of Leon doing several from their new album, Tool who had a pretty spectacular laser light show which shined out into space, White Stripes which lived up to the hype, cheeky Franz Ferdinand, Brazilian Girls and Damien Rice. The four days really test your endurance and if you don't pace yourself you end up like the dozens passed out on the festival grounds, and later on the floor in the Nashville airport. The porta potties are challenging, the water stations scarce and the crowds walking around almost overwhelming. The artsy flavor of some of the crowd, the lighted walking, dancing stickman, the four super-hero guys dancing around in a cape and speedos, the painted breasts and nightly parade all add a flavor not seen in other concert crowds. It's safe to say it was an adventure for our little party of four that won't soon be forgotten.

He Does it Again!

A Threepeat for Rafa! What a Match!

Green Thumbing It

I don't know what it is about gardening that really rocks my world but something about watching things grow that I love. It goes back to when I was a little girl planting morning glories and marigolds and watching them sprout and bloom, the wonder of life I guess, as corny as that sounds. Luckily the damn deer don't go for the iris, although they have been tromping around in the beds and have knocked a couple of buds off that otherwise would've been beautiful blooms. Oh well, most of the others I planted last summer right before I flew to Europe are going to bloom for the first time and they'll be gorgeous. It really makes me want to find a way to landscape the whole yard in flowers and veggies, so far it's been a slow but steady process. The red potatoes I planted, 10 in all, are growing like crazy and should yield some beauties. The spinach is prolific this year and the lettuce is doing pretty well too. The tomatoes are limping along but will probably do okay and I'm trying bush beans again this year. Sooner or later I'll find a spot they like. I think home gardeners are a dying breed. I was inspired by my grandmother so maybe, if I ever have the benefit of grandchildren, I can instill that same love in them.

Pirates Delivers

I was a little skeptical but still determined to see Pirates III, the reviews I'd seen said better than two, not as good as one. I guess I'd agree with that assessment. And as much as I love Captain Jack, seems to me Kiera Knightley actually lit up the screen the most. And Orlando is just plain eye candy, no denying it. So it is the wild romp you'd expect, and the special effects are impressive. Especially that face of Davey Jones, it's pretty convincingly alive. And lots of nice touches, the opening scene where all rights had been suspended as they hang dozens of unfortunates is a blatant jab at the state of the country, and rightly so. So if you don't expect an awful lot from the plot it's a fun ride, and unlike some comments of it dragging, I thought it kept pace for all two hours 45 minutes. And boy does it set up for number four as you'd expect. They may not have the story line picked out yet, but there will be one. I kept expectations low for Keith Richards as Jack's dad, and good thing. The scene is a good one but that's about it, a cameo, but the funny part is Keith didn't look that much different than he does in every day life!

A Step Back in Time - 20 Years

My 15 minutes of fame only lasted 5, so I guess I've got another 10 coming.

Me: Smiling like a kid in a candy store.

Sting: Are we done yet???

We drove all night, me and a local singer, Carmen Hedges to Seattle to see his show at the Seattle Center for the Nothing Like the Sun tour. Having had the tickets lost in the mail, my boss at the radio station said, go, they'll be there at the will call window. Well when we got there and picked up the tickets, the woman who was handling it felt so bad she scooped us a couple of back stage passes, which was fine by us!! The show was fantastic, we sat in about row 30 on the floor and walked in with some fish and chips in hand, to the opening chords of Lazarus Heart, just in time. After the amazing performance with such greats as They Dance Alone, We'll Be Together, '86 Don't Stand So Close to Me, Little Wing, Englishman in New York and tons more, we made a quick dash to the ladies room to make sure we were presentable for the back stage encounter. And lo and behold we damn near missed him. So having been ushered back and told we'd get a photo op, I overcame my fear and immediately stood nearby waiting my turn. Meanwhile, Carmen, a singer who performed regularly on stage, chickened out. But I wasn't going to miss this for the world. I waited my turn, and after having a nice eye contact moment as I waited across the room, I stepped up and shook his hand, a great, warm, firm handshake, and expressed how great the show had been, and the woman doing the introductions said I'd traveled from Montana for the show, Sting exclaimed Montana! The Goon's from Montana (his photographer, who I was also introduced to, from Missoula, of course). Then we both looked forward to have the pix snapped, me grinning from ear to ear, Sting with that serious Rock Star look, and the moment was over. Whisked into a waiting white limo, off he went into the night. But I'd had my moment, memorialized in time by the 8 x 10 glossy I received a week or so later c/o the radio station. My boss who scored me the tickets was a real gem, and beamed as he handed over the photo. Anyone could see from my expression how thrilling the experience had been. So, on to Bonnaroo to see the Police reunion, this too should be a memorable event.

When the Levees Broke

Every American over the age of 12 should see this documentary by Spike Lee. I know, you think, how depressing, who wants to see a film with such misery and lots of floating dead bodies? But the film shows a vivid view of the culture and human spirit that was and is New Orleans. It also shows the stark reality which plagues George Bush's empire: "can't make a decision, paralyzed with fear and ain't gonna change any time soon." Whenever he's been asked to step up to the plate, George Bush has gone running to the land of denial and tunnel vision that must live in his head. Spike Lee does a commendable job of keeping himself out of the film and portraying the stories of the many individuals whose lives were devastated by Katrina. Bravo Spike.

More St Louis

St. Louis

St. Louis

I was so much more impressed with the St. Louis Arch than I thought I would be. I'd seen it from the highway passing through in 1978 but this week we stayed right next to it. This was the view from my hotel room. St. Louis was warm and humid and at least 60% black. As we walked the streets, having failed to flag down the transit bus, we (two blonde white women) were amazed at how many inquiring looks we received. Maybe it's just that friendly southern hospitality, but it was very noticeable. I also noticed how much more relaxed I felt being in the minority. Other times, like in DC, I felt very aware of just how very white I was. The southern flavor restaurant we ate at across from Busch Stadium (Cards lost badly 10-3) was like a step right into Dixie. Allegator on the menu, first time I'd ever seen that. We have buffalo burgers at some locales in Montana and think we're hot shit, ha! The spicy beans and rice was delish, the crawfish was unimpressive with very little meat and I declined the "sucking juice from the head" part of the experience. And then when done with our dinner, us four girls went into the next room where a local zydeco/blues/horns band was playing. They played a very funky Mack the Knife and a very fun I Dream of Jeannie theme song with a running commentary on how that was the singers favorite show growing up. It was a hoot and we stayed about an hour really enjoying the night out. Something about sitting for 4 straight days in a work conference to make you climb the walls, so it was a welcome relief. On another note, the Botanical Garden was superb and well worth the long trek by foot and public transport to get there and back.

It Could All End in One Second

As I rounded and rounded the block wondering why I couldn't find a damn parking space downtown I pulled slowly past an under construction patio right near my work and as I pulled into a curbside parking space I saw some debris tumble onto the sidewalk. I knew they'd had the lift with a guy doing some stuff on the building this week so didn't think too much of it. Then when I got out of my car and looked up, no man working, just two more lion heads affixed to the building, like this one that had just fallen two stories. The chance that I was there right as it happened is a little scary. If someone had been working below on the patio surely they would've died or been seriously injured by this piece of stone. And this space where it tumbled to the sidewalk is exactly where I walk each day to retrieve the mail. I've heard about pieces of old buildings falling in places like NY, but not here in little Helena Montana. You'd have never known what hit you. Luckily, no one was around late in the work day to meet their end.