Montana Matters

This is the first time since before I moved west, 1977, that Montana has mattered on the national political scene. Since the Obama/Hillary neck and neck race shows no signs of letting up, they're making the rounds to the rural small states this time around. Which is a real bonus for us political buffs who like to see our candidates up close and personal. Now all I have been hearing for a year is what a pair of rock stars these two are in person, so I had to go and judge for myself. And suprise, they both are. However, Clinton still holds the edge for me. She just gives off an air of confidence after spending 8 years in the White House like she knows what is expected of the president, and how those situations are handled. Bravo Hillary. So I'm still, idealistically no doubt, holding out for an '08 Clinton/Obama ticket, to be repeated in 2012 and then an Obama/Tester? or Obama/Schweitzer ticket the next two go rounds. Oh well, I can hope at least!

Jon Stewart is My Hero

Keeping a Sense of Humor

I'd love to write comedy because my family is so absurd that it seems to lend itself to the genre. It's been a hell of a year, Nana died Sept 25 nearing the age of 97. Brother John at age 47 had a life threatening aneurysm break on the golf course but miraculously is recovering well. Then last week the patriarch bastard died. The long and storied and complicated drama that was my father's relationship with the five of us kids is sometimes hard to comprehend. I escaped west when I was 20, had my family of three awesome kids, and have pretty much kept my distance, although not in a nasty way, concerning my dad. Every couple of years or so I'd visit while I was east and seeing the rest of family. The last visit was a one on one at his house about 18 months ago. I figured if either of us had any issue or question we wanted to bring up, that would've been the time. Neither ventured forth, I believe at least on my end, because I'd long given up the anger associated with the way he left the family and never looked back. So after some chit chat and a couple of his disparaging remarks about my siblings for which he was famous for, I left his house for the last time in his life. While my siblings all had very contentious and combative relationships with dad through the years and I've always felt content that I'd made peace with the past. Life's too short to worry if either parent, or anyone for that matter, approves of your life, your choices or your kids. So I guess I should've just stayed away after I got the call that he had died last Thursday, or thereabouts. The drama though, I was still to learn, was just beginning. While my mom was destitute through the years to the point where she lived with her mother for decades, my father was amassing wealth from his inheritance of stocks and bonds and the million dollar house in a toney Andover Mass neighborhood. SOOO, when the contents of the will were revealed, it was no surprise that two of the siblings, myself and brother John (with whom years of running a business together with my father proved too much to keep any kind of cordial relationship going) were specifically notated for omission. The wording, to the effect of "it is no mistake" that these two are not listed in said will were words he must have reveled in over the years, as the will was written June 18, 2003. Even in death the lack of good will and decency lives on, so to speak. The unfolding of the probate will be quite an ordeal of which I, very thankfully I might add, will not have to partake or witness. This is a blessing which it seems, judging from my dad's actions, must be an unintended consequence. That I will not spend the next year depending on my brother as "Executor" to handle things in a coherent and ethical fashion is a bullet I'm happy to dodge. Not to mention that any mourning or unresolved feelings, which were minimal at best, are now replaced with a final closure that quite honestly feels great. So back to Montana to pick up my life where it left off before I got the phone call that I was now half-orphaned. However, several days remain of which I feel assured more drama and histrionics will reveal themselves. Stay tuned, epilogue very likely to follow........
THIS JUST IN: two funny notes of interest, (if you have a twisted sense of humor like I do) the high class burial plot in Auburn Hills Cemetery that the family bragged about all these years, (my grandmother in fact telling my mom early in her marriage to my dad that there was just enough room for my father and his brother but not her) was total fiction. NO SUCH PLOT in existence after the funeral home spent an exhaustive afternoon researching. #2 The drunk driving incident in which my dad hit a bicycle with rider is still an outstanding lawsuit against my dad, and now against his estate, which could drag onto eons and drain the "inheritance".

California Dreaming

Inspired to write by my Walking Girl

I haven't written lately but now I'm inspired.

1. Into the Wild is a very good film, Sean Penn doesn't disappoint and the fact that it seems they shot on every location the fellow went helps to keep you in the spirit of his travels. Very sad of course, but he saw a lot in his short life, lots more than many people.

2. On regular excercise - when I tell folks I run regularly I sometimes mention that I go rain/shine/cold/heat etc. because if I started using excuses not to go, pretty soon I'd be a full time couch potato. And as is, I've been watching way too much of the Home & Garden channel to inspire the work on my house. Anyway, this last week we had snow, thaw and freeze which made for some treacherous conditions. I go pretty slow when it's glare ice. I mentioned to a co-worker that, yes, I usually fall once a season. Well now everything is bare and dry after several 40+ days, but last evening, (and it wasn't even fully dark), I was running past this young couple and just as I came up on them they kissed, I looked at them for a second and WHAM down I go on the sidewalk, scaring them and scraping my knee. It was a little embarassing, but oh well, just glad it wasn't worse than a scraped knee. There are so many uneven sidewalks it doesn't even take ice to be dangerous. So hopefully that's my fall for this season, got it out of the way early.

3. About that house stuff, well I may actually be ready to work on the kitchen floor which has been bare of the carpet, and ugly as hell, for about 2 years. I've always wanted ceramic tile but the expense of the subfloor, installation and tile has been prohibitive. So I've decided to go for vinyl tile, which has come a long way in the last dozen or so years. No sub floor required, just a really level starting surface, and I can cut it and lay it myself, unlike the ceramic which takes a special water saw to cut. So I'm deciding on a color and will spend this weekend scraping the old glued paper off. Should be fun. But hey, no social life, it should be a really productive weekend!

4. Speaking of social life, after the torturous date last week, I emailed a fellow in LA who was appealing and noted I'd be in LA end of January. Well he writes this curt note back that he hasn't done long distance romance since college and he'd pass. Who said I wanted a romance I replied, I'm just looking to meet some interesting men as Montana is slim pickings, and p.s. WHEN NOT INTERESTED, best to not reply at all ASSHOLE! Well I skipped the asshole part and was very polite and civil, but hopefully he got the point. The Thumper rule "when you don't have anything nice to say...."

5. That's it for now. Posted the waxwing pix I took while in Bozo last weekend, and another "Little Crazy" one of me. I guess we're all a little crazy, but boring would be worse.

Odds & Ends

Okay, been totally ignoring my blog so figured I'd do a short update.

Michael Clayton
Last night was the last showing so had to go. Clooney and Tom Wilkenson are both very good in this very engrossing film. And unfortunately it's pretty true to life I'm afraid when it comes to the morals and evils associated with a lot of big corporations. The lengths they'll go to to make money no matter the risk to the public's health is disturbing. Just today I see Merck is paying out huge sums of money from the Vioxx scandal. Clooney's "kid" does a great job too, I think we'll see more of him. At least 2 other films I'd like to see this weekend, we'll see.

Home Improvements
So, I've been engrossed in painting my front entry way and upstairs and even though I'm not done the difference is substantial. Also working on changing around the art in the house, went to get 4 black mats for 4 black and white photos. One didn't fit so I'm substituting my one with Sting. I figure why the heck not? It's a great pix and it's been hidden away for almost 20 years. Also been experimenting with black and white settings on the digital camera. I want to do some small black and white photos for the upstairs bedroom walls which I have dark red mats for. The pale apricot paint job looks great with the new bedding, a dark red-colored coverlet and sham. The yucky blue carpet though has got to go. Now I'm thinking up so many projects I could probably work through the winter and not get it all done. Such as changing out the bathroom overhead light fixtures and putting in a fixture in my bedroom which is a plain bare bulb in the ceiling. And, finally I bought a simple black frame for my Paris Abstract which I'll do up this weekend. I think it will look smashing! It's about time as I did cart it home on the plane Aug '06.

So keeping real busy, not to mention the crazy as usual job. Went out w/a friend to hear the local blues band again this week. They did almost completely different stuff which was refreshing, I was afraid it would just be a repeat of a couple weeks ago. The place was packed too, who knew in Helena on a Wednesday night. I'm trying to say "yes" every time I'm asked to go do something. Figure if I'm serious about becoming more social I'll have to make an honest effort. Did see a couple of interesting characters, plus a couple of local characters I already know which was quite interesting, but I'll keep their secrets.

Trying to plan ahead, still hoping for Indian Wells tennis in March but the cost may not allow. Who knows, maybe I'll get to see Rafa play live yet.

Blades of Sadie

more cali

Hummingbird

Cool Fountain

Local Greenery

We Resisted

Sepia Toned

Up Close and Personal

I've been going to concerts for a very long time since the first one when my younger brother John won 6th row tickets to Three Dog Night in Boston Garden when I was 14 and he was 12. I made him take me since I was standing there urging "call in, call in", my logic was, hey if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have known to call. Honestly at 12 I'm not sure my folks would've let him take the train into Boston with another 12 year old anyway. So, after years of good to pretty good seats to such folks as Rolling Stones, U2, Pearl Jam and hundreds more, I've never been in the very front, by which I mean there is no person in front of you, except the band a few feet away up there on stage. This was our reward for going very early to Santa Barbara to apparently an area where the locals are not just crazy about Modest Mouse the way we are. The bowl is small, only 4700 capacity, and still there were last minute tickets available. In Montana at a venue in Missoula, they sold out in ten minutes and I never could get tickets. So, needless to say when we were there in line with about 20 other people at around 5 pm we figured we'd be close, but after a little jockeying with a "kid zone" they allowed us all the vantage point that everyone should experience at least once in their life. Modest Mouse put on a terrific show, they were so fun to watch so close doing this synchronized dance that produces these intricate intensely energetic tunes. The new ones from We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank like "Fire it Up" and the old familiar ones like "Float On' really presented the total package for the attendees. The intensity of Isaak Brock's tortured vocals which comes through on their albums was notched up even more in person. The duel drummers dressed in their striped sleeveless sailor shirts and the slew of hurricane lamps set the "ship's" feel for the show. And the dueling lead guitars back and forth with such beauty and grace was a joy to watch. Isaak certainly plays a guitar like no one I've ever seen, it's suprising he doesn't break several strings each show. The best shows evoke a spiritual experience and this one did. To feel totally engulfed in the musical magic that is going on between the six players is very special. I'm glad that when I get the urge to take a chance and buy the tickets for an event I know I'll love that I just do it. This show goes down as one of my all time favorites. Modest Mouse plays like no other band, a unique entity with brilliant writing and a style of playing unlike any other band.

Montana Tourist Attractions

How a table ought to be set when the food is world class True Green - Yarrow at Yellowstone

Even the rest stops in Montana have gorgeous views

Gathering storm in the mountains of Paradise Valley

Purple Coneflower

Working Weekend in Paradise

However, it's still working through the weekend. So, as much as I love the outdoors and pristine mountains, sitting in endless meetings all weekend still sucks. The food was fantastic and the cabins very cozy, hearing the coyotes howling on the hills and I believe I heard one elk bugle a single time. I lied awake a few moments waiting for more, but never heard any. I believe this is my last work "retreat" as I seriously doubt I'll last another year at this job. Just time to move on.

Colors of Yellowstone

Okay, I've been taking the lazy road

and posting only pictures lately from my awesome new digital camera that I'm still figuring out. So I'll sit down and write a bit. No new action on the internet dating scene, although I did email a fellow on CL who's living in Switzerland for the next ten years and is looking for visitors. He was in Missoula this a.m. so he never even made it to Helena, but hey it was worth the try, I've heard Switzerland is awesome. Did see a fellow I used to work with in the early 90's on Yahoo Personals who's single now. I had a major crush on him but he was married at the time. So now he's single and looking. If I could just remember his last name I'd be tempted to call him and say hey, as I believe he had a bit of a crush on me too. Never did get a call from the Vermonter last weekend, oh well. I'm sure he'll call eventually, and I could call him too as I have the number. Work is settling down a bit gearing up for the big board meeting. Good thing it's in such a beautiful setting, otherwise it would be pure torture sitting for 3 days. I do hope there's no snow this year, a little sunshine would be welcome. At least the abundance of world class food and plenty of wine will ease the pain a bit too. Can't decide if I should venture a one day marathon trip to Yellowstone this weekend or not. Otherwise when I get so close for the board meeting without being able to go down to the park it will suck. So, I'm still debating. Last episode of season 3 of the L Word will arrive Friday along with season two opener of Weeds. I just love Mary Louise Parker and what's his name, Kevin Neelin? in that. The L Word is pretty stingy with the man on woman action but has plenty of girl/girl which I guess should be expected. I did like the filmmaker who was spying on Jen and Shane though, although his stint is apparently over this season. So just learned of a free internet dating site plentyoffish.com which I checked out. Apparently I'm the last one to know about it as all the Helena men I've seen on Yahoo and MySpace are all right there on fish. Not sure I want to "dive" in again to that scene, such poor response it's a blow to my ego. Well, at least I can look into Mr. Blue Eyes' eyes at the upcoming weekend thing. I hope my eyes don't betray all the various thoughts I've been having about him.....

Spring Meadow & Lilies

Helena

Fire Season

A new fire north of town and a sunset red from all the smoke.

I Know I Live in a Dry Climate

And that there are plenty of prickly pear cactus in the hills around town, but I was still suprised to see this little volunteer growing in one of my garden beds.

Those 40-Somethings With Big Ideas

Okay, I've been mulling on this for quite a while now. As I navigate the Internet sites I come upon an abundance of 40 something men, never married, no kids, who now think they're ready to settle down. Of course it has to be a much younger woman as any 40 something woman who's just now figuring she's ready for kids is screwed. They brag that they have no baggage, no alimony payments, no pesky kids to take their attention away from that perfect woman they're finally ready to settle down with. Is this clueless or what?? They also want the woman to have "waited" for them, a fresh clean slate they can scribble all over. What they don't get is that most women who want kids, just find a decent guy and take the plunge and do it. These guys who've never seen fit to take a chance on love have a big red flag pasted to their foreheads. Never found a girl worthy of your giant ego? Never let yourself be vulnerable enough to take that leap of faith and commit to one of the many women you've surely loved or at least half-assed loved? Everyone wants a level playing field in love: you've got an ex? I've got an ex - as long as neither of us is still sleeping with ours, we'll deal with it. You've got kids who you'd give your right arm for? Hey, guess what me too. You think you're perfect with your lack of baggage? Well think again, we've all got baggage. You don't need an ex or kids to have the requisite baggage. Believe me if you're over 40 and you haven't been living in a cave for the last 20 years, you've got baggage. So while you've deluded yourself into thinking you're the ultimate catch, I think any woman worth her salt wants to know the guy's been out there living all these years before she met him, he's loved and lost and grown up and taken stock of his life. He's got a realistic view of himself and the world and knows relationships are hard work and pure hell at times. They say women are all waiting for their Prince Charming, but I really think it's these 40 somethings who are waiting for their fantasy woman to appear. Strange how men and women have changed roles in so many ways over the last 20-30 years. Strange and SCARY!

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Playing Around With Acrylics